This year's Thanksgiving is a little tough. Last Friday I went in for surgery to have a non-cancerous tumor in my liver removed. Up until it was diagnosed I had never felt it and if it weren't for routine blood tests I'd probably still have it although it was certainly making me uncomfortable before it finally came out. I was concerned about the procedure but then I saw that I could have it done laparoscopically and maybe two weeks recovery time and I'd be back on my feet. That didn't seem too bad and so life was arranged for almost two weeks of downtime because I like pushing the limits. That was all okay but they rescheduled my surgery from the front of the week to the back of the week. Surgery was Friday it's now Wednesday and I am debating if I can pull off Thanksgiving tomorrow. All I have to do is show up, but honestly trying to act like you feel fine when you don't is not fun. I am also not sure about returning to work on Friday. I hate letting people down and I will feel like that is what I am doing no matter what anyone says. For starters, my laparoscopic surgery consisted of 7 holes, not 3 and they took out my gallbladder because "it looked weird." I was so thrilled when the surgeon told me I could leave the next day I didn't consider that home medication isn't the same as hospital meds. I hadn't even made it all the way down the hospital hallway without feeling like I might pass out. But I am always so damn happy with my pain coping skills that I like to forget that I am human. I don't understand the current opioid addiction at all. My meds make me nauseous and sleepy. Not what I would consider high at all. I can get something to take away nausea but I was only supposed to need them for 4 days and that ends today. I am probably getting to the point that I need food far more than I need sleep. Don't even get me started on my current need for laxatives or the fun that's going to go with that. I'm actually doing quite well, considering everything. The unexplained shudders are a bit annoying (I wish I knew what they were,) and painful but considering what my body went through last week, I'm good.
I do think that sometimes one needs to complain about life. It's like singing the blues. You feel better when it's out there, instead of stuck in your head. There is so much that I have to be thankful for that it makes my complaints seem minuscule. It's not just the wonderful man who got me through all of this mess and continues to take care of me, or the families that are trying to make me part of their holidays. It's also the amazing network of friends that I have far and wide who are always there for me. I know that there are many people who have life far worse than I do. Quite honestly it feels like right now there are many who have a life more pleasant than mine, but I am the only one lucky enough to have my life. Thank you to all of the wonderful people that I get to encounter for enriching it. Now, Miralax and 7 up, or Narco and sleep, maybe white bread and Pepsi, or finalizing tomorrow's choices. UGH! But I am smiling.
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